Navigating Setbacks: 3 Practical Tips for Parents
Our plans always sound and feel great – until they fall apart. Whether it's a missed assignment, a missed opportunity, or a life detour no one expected – change is inevitable. For children, teens, and young adults, how they respond to these changes can be even more important than the changes themselves.
That's where cognitive flexibility comes in!
Cognitive flexibility is the ability to adapt our thinking and behavior in response to unexpected circumstances. It’s a core executive function skill for thriving in a world that rarely goes according to plan – and it’s something we can help our kids develop, especially during setbacks.
Here are three practical ways parents can support cognitive flexibility in students and young adults:
1. Model Adaptability in Real Life
Your child is watching how you react when things go wrong. Do you panic, blame others, or shut down? Or do you pause, pivot, and look for alternatives?
When plans change, narrate your process:
“Wow, that’s a shame the event was canceled, but that gives us a chance to do something else we’ve been putting off.”
“I was disappointed, but I thought about what I can control next time.”
2. Shift from “Failure” to “Feedback”
Young people often see setbacks as evidence that they’re not good enough or that it’s not worth trying again. Help them reframe to build resilience in future setbacks.
Here are a few things you can ask them:
“What surprised you about that situation?”
“What did you learn that might help next time?”
“If you could go back, what would you do differently – and what’s one small step to try now?”
3. Create Opportunities for Controlled “Failure”
Let your child practice problem-solving in low-stakes situations.
This could be as simple as:
Letting them cook a new recipe without stepping in (even if it doesn’t taste great 😉).
Giving them responsibility to plan a weekend activity with a budget and timeline.
Encouraging them to troubleshoot a tech issue before stepping in (like fixing a phone issue or connecting to Wi-Fi).
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Some young people—especially those who feel stuck, aimless, or overwhelmed—may need more support than typical day-to-day parenting can offer. If your young adult is lacking motivation, purpose, or direction, they may be struggling to see a way forward.
That’s where the LAUNCH Program comes in!
LAUNCH is a structured, empowering program for young adults who feel stalled in life. Whether they’re taking a gap year, stepping back from school, or unsure about next steps, LAUNCH helps them rediscover purpose, build executive functioning skills, and create a sustainable plan for the future.
If your young adult is ready for a change – but doesn’t know where to start – check out the LAUNCH Program today.
Because life doesn’t always follow the plan, and sometimes the best growth happens when it doesn’t!
